Yeah, that would be me.
It all started when I was less than a year old and living in Africa. At a bustling outdoor market a woman came up to my mother and started cooing over me and then asked to hold me. My poor unsuspecting mother hands me over and the woman breaks in to a sprint with me in her arms. Responding to my mother’s screams, bystanders chased after her, got me back and informed my mother that this woman is a confirmed lunatic, well known in the area.
Fortunately I have no recollection of the above incident and I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that crazy people scare me. But as with most things that scare me, I’m perversely fascinated at the same time. Lately however, I’ve begun to notice that for some odd reason these people are attracted to me, from the mildly eccentric to the stark raving mad.
Do they sense my fear? Or do they see an ally?
Once, I was walking towards my car when this wild eyed woman came tearing out of a hedge and started clawing at my hair. I stood there frozen with fear while she ranted away for all to hear that I have grown my hair long but I’m dressed in jeans. She went on to imply that I’m gender confused. “Atthatama Oya Kollekda? Kellekda?”
In another instance, I was waiting for my school van when this old man came up to me and started giving me a garbled lesson in mathematics. As I stood there speechless he called me ‘useless’ and struck me a few times with his imaginary cane and walked away with a look of disgust on his face. How did he figure out I was a dunce at the subject anyway?
I also had this neighbor, a woman in her late thirties who lost her mind after she was jilted by her fiancé for another girl. Every morning she would get dolled up and stand outside her gate simpering and acting coy if a guy passes by. But turning instantly hostile if a girl crossed her path. Many were the days that she yelled insults at me or came towards me under the guise of admiring something I wore, only to run away after yanking my hair or pushing me away.
Then there was one in the Bambalapitiya Junction area. A tall, dark woman (man?) with bloodshot eyes. Once I was walking past the junction with some friends, I saw her from a distance and was careful not look at her or make eye contact. She was seated on the pavement mumbling away but just as we passed her she scrambled up and came right at me. There were at least 5 people but she picked me! Thankfully a man from a nearby shop rushed out and fended her off.
That’s just some of it. Not counting the likes of a fellow student with serial killer fantasies who insisted that I read his ‘fiction’ and the batty old shop assistant at Wal-Mart who warned like the voice of doom that my ‘pretty face’ would rot if I didn’t embrace god right away.
So really, what’s up with me and the madness?
Jerry said,
July 14, 2009 at 11:24 am
ROFL!
*makes note to never be in same immediate area as Delilah.
*revises note “Send st.fallen in that direction”
Delilah said,
July 14, 2009 at 12:43 pm
oh i forgot to mention you
St. Fallen said,
July 14, 2009 at 6:20 pm
so THAT’s why I find you and your blog so fascinating
well… I’ve had a few conversations with crazy people, but it’s mostly pedophiles that come at me :/
hehe quite an insightful post, btw
seriously though
ARE you a man or a woman?
Delilah said,
July 14, 2009 at 8:43 pm
huh? what does gender have to do with anything?
Gehan said,
July 14, 2009 at 11:31 am
“Do they sense my fear? Or do they see an ally?”
lol hilarious!
Delilah said,
July 14, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Sigma Delta said,
July 14, 2009 at 12:32 pm
A kindred spirit is what they probably see…
Delilah said,
July 14, 2009 at 12:45 pm
ha ha
Sachintha said,
July 14, 2009 at 12:38 pm
LOL
I too have seen that woman at the Bamba Junction. She’s scary innit? I cam almost picture the scene.
lady divine said,
July 14, 2009 at 12:39 pm
hilarious!!!!!!!
another post that made me smile.:)
PseudoRandom said,
July 14, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Oh wow. You know maybe you could make a business out of this…like Ghostbusters but not quite
Delilah said,
July 14, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Sachintha, yup she is quite a familiar sight in that area. and it was quite traumatic.
darling LD, happy to make you smile:)
PR, lol:) i would – if only i knew how to bust em without peeing in my pants!
TheWhackster said,
July 14, 2009 at 12:53 pm
yeah ive seen that lady at bamba junk as well.. had some neighbors once. Normal people; except the grandma was a bit batty. She had it in for another neighbor, who practically revelled in her insulting shouts. She (the second neighbor) would gyrate her (extremely big and round) behind just so that the first neighbor (the batty one) could see. in an effort to drive her even crazieri guess.
im yet to figure out who was the more insane of the two. the batty naighbors moved away soon after. the other one seemed normal on the surface.
Delilah said,
July 14, 2009 at 2:59 pm
lol
pictured the gyration and it was funneh! and yeah i guess it takes one to rile up the other.
Makuluwo said,
July 14, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Lmao!
Chavie said,
July 14, 2009 at 2:30 pm
no wonder J. Berry was going full speed right at ya!
hehe 
Delilah said,
July 14, 2009 at 3:00 pm
yup. it all makes sense now
Cadence said,
July 14, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Ally my darling. Ally.
~ lo$t $oul ~ said,
July 14, 2009 at 5:14 pm
not sure if i shud be laughin at this.. or…feel sorry.. :S
i think everyone’s got some kinda magnet…
Sigma Delta said,
July 14, 2009 at 6:56 pm
My one seems to have the polarity reversed,it repulses people!
Dee said,
July 14, 2009 at 11:05 pm
scary.. i had some wierd chick in bamba yell prossie in sinhala. i was like errm!! and clung onto my ex heheheh
Delilah said,
July 14, 2009 at 11:09 pm
cadence,
Lost, well why couldnt mine be a hot guy magnet instead?
Sigma, no it doesnt. quite the opposite in fact
Dee, yikes! least am not the only one:)
St. Fallen said,
July 15, 2009 at 12:00 am
gender doesn’t have anything to do with it
answer the question!
gutterflower said,
July 15, 2009 at 11:08 pm
tee hee. now i know why you stay friends with me.
Delilah said,
July 15, 2009 at 11:37 pm
but of course my sweet
blindspy said,
July 20, 2009 at 7:52 am
i am so sure this is your unconscious subtle fear that attracts these people to you. why i am so sure? I was like this too ten years back. the same madness went on. he.. he.. so this is first hand experience. it is like, when u walk in with a certain fear of doubt, the dog next to you starts following you. or at least Bark.. have you notice this?
Delilah said,
July 20, 2009 at 9:14 am
i do believe you are right. and yes it does happen with dogs
Jack Point said,
July 21, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Perhaps its just a question of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This post is hilarious.
Delilah said,
July 21, 2009 at 12:58 pm
perhaps
and i seem to have a knack for it. anyway thank you and good to have you back.