In a room filled with cigarette smoke, he can still smell her perfume. She sits next to him. Close, but just out of reach. Without a flicker of emotion, he remains conscious of her hip curving next to his and every accidental touch that grazes his skin. Tonight he’s tempted more than ever. To throw all caution to the wind and just give in. But he holds back. Nonchalance always did come easy to him.
* * * *
A good night, she thinks. It’s been a while since she learnt to separate the good nights from the bad. Bad nights were when she went to bed with nothing to hold on to. No stolen moments of tenderness to get her through the week till he came around again. But not tonight. She could feel his eyes on her time and again. And there was that half-smile playing on his lips whenever she stole a look. Their defenses were lain down together for the night.
* * * *
They were neither friends nor lovers. Too much attraction to be only friends but too many reasons not to be lovers. Just a pair of oxymoron – logical romantics, suspended in time. Hungry for each other but living on the scraps of their righteous pride.
* * * *
The night fades too fast and he glances at the time. Pours the last drink and looks at her with almost regret. Ice cubes melt in his glass. He stalls; the last drink is always the longest. The band plays on. Song after song it gets harder to leave and his hand only hovers over his phone. He needs to leave but he knows that if she asked him to stay, he would linger a while longer. So he waits for her to ask just one more time.
* * * *
She hates it when he looks at his watch. Tries hard to seem unconcerned but fails to hide the pout that he knows too well. Her mood starts dissolving like the ice cubes in his glass. Avoids his eyes, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the despair in hers. She wants to freeze the clocks and put out the lights. Lock the doors and make him stay. But she’s afraid. Not knowing what he’s thinking. So all she does is move a little closer to him. Wishing that it would make him stay just a few minutes longer. Desperately wanting to ask but holding back with well-practised control.
* * * *
The moment slips away. She doesnt ask and so he leaves, yet again. And she misses him even before the tail lights disappear around the corner. Hours later, he falls asleep, trying not to think about her and she lies awake thinking about him. Both, learning the hard way why you shouldn’t fall in love with a dreamer.
*inspired by the song “Dont fall in love with a dreamer” by Kenny Rogers & Kim Carnes
Jerry said,
July 23, 2009 at 6:30 am
Dreamer? Wha? This reads almost like a jackie whatshername novel. Not that I’ve read any of em, just er… Been told.
Delilah said,
July 23, 2009 at 8:47 am
and no it doesnt. there’s no sex in it for starters.
Jerry said,
July 23, 2009 at 9:57 am
I don’t. I just accidentally read one.
The White Rabbit said,
July 23, 2009 at 8:03 am
Wow… I can relate to dat.
Delilah said,
July 23, 2009 at 10:33 pm
TWR, i dunno if thats good or bad.
Jerry said,
July 23, 2009 at 11:00 am
Wait, is this about a real person/people? If so, excuse previous comments…
Delilah said,
July 23, 2009 at 11:05 am
NOOOOO its not about real people. listen to the song. i’ve just brought to life the context of the song.
are you trying to deviate attention from the fact that you read blonde books?
Jerry said,
July 23, 2009 at 11:05 am
Foiled!
…dammit….
Cadence said,
July 23, 2009 at 11:22 am
hmmm nice one D. Sounds pretty real?
Delilah said,
July 23, 2009 at 11:26 am
C, thank you. but nah. it’s nothing real. i’ve always found that this song conjures a very vivd picture about the situation. just wanted to put it in to words.
lady divine said,
July 23, 2009 at 1:56 pm
hmmmmm….
~ lo$t $oul ~ said,
July 23, 2009 at 11:50 am
Sounds just like a modern day romance, where one night of pleasure opens away the doors for many more nights of pain. Where pride kicks in before love or passion, where no strings relationship dominates the body, more than love that shud dominate the body n mind..
totally relate to this..:)
Delilah said,
July 23, 2009 at 10:30 pm
sabbyaz said,
July 23, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Beautiful
Gehan said,
July 23, 2009 at 8:08 pm
this is pretty neat, i like it.. and coming from ME, thats something…
Magilin said,
July 23, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Very nice. You’ve bought the song to life beautifully.
Delilah said,
July 23, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Magwhaaaaaat?
thank you Sumana
Delilah said,
July 23, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Sabby, thank you.
G, thanks. nice to see you going soft
u4j10 said,
July 28, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Delilah said,
July 29, 2009 at 12:49 pm
er
Black Rose said,
July 29, 2009 at 10:14 am
Brilliant. I can relate.
Delilah said,
July 29, 2009 at 12:47 pm
thanks
themissingsandwich said,
August 21, 2009 at 1:25 am
I’m reading your blog after ages and this story seems like you’ve threaded a series of events in my life over the past few weeks together. I’m in shock. Ouch. But wow.
Delilah said,
August 21, 2009 at 10:20 am
thanks TMS. even as i wrote this, the line between fiction and reality seemed to blur.