I’m a planner by nature. I like strategizing, I like routine and I really like lists.
But if you are thinking Monica Geller, stop right now because I could mess up a given space faster than Jerry any sloppy teenaged boy. My room often resembles a post hurricane zone. Surprisingly, most people mistake this for being disorganized but I assure you, I know exactly where everything is. The systems are all up here in my head. What may look like a giant pile of clothes on the floor to others is actually a carefully classified selection of garments to me. So I’m sorry if you tripped on it but I sure hope you didn’t disrupt my arrangement.
Anyway, every morning I make a ‘To Do’ list. Sometimes it’s in my head, sometimes on a post-it and sometimes it’s on the back of my colleague’s meticulously typed project report. Lately these lists have been getting longer and my temper, shorter. So with aim to alleviate the trauma caused by work related stress I decided to make a list of things to do before this year is through. Down below is a draft and I’ll probably keep adding to it until I reach 20.
Suggestions and tips are most welcome.
Take a train somewhere (yeah I have never been on a train in SL)
Visit the Museum
And the Planetarium
Paint something – a wall, window or canvas
Bake cookies for other people
Meet new people (stole this one from Sabby)
Meet 3 old friends I have been ignoring
Watch at least 3 classic movies, y’know the boring but good substance ones (suggestions?)
Read at least one good classic. Contemplating Dostoyevsky or something by Gogol since I do like Russian literature.
Organize or contribute to a charity project
Redecorate my room
Go on a second hand book shopping spree
Do something I hate – try eating fish and not give up after one bite
Make a Lemon Freeze
Explore a different genre of music, maybe Salsa, Ska or Tango (suggestions? )
Take the bus on weekends
Watch a few Hindi movies (any recommendations?)
Aerobics – Jazz or regular
So there. It’s not much but just a few things i want to do and have been putting off.
So I haven’t been home 4 weekends in a row and my backpack is half packed at all times because it’s too much trouble to unpack and do it all over again.
Come Thursday I have the option of taking off to Udawalawe and Yala for 3 days, with two guys. The plan is to leave at midnight on Thursday which sounds rather exciting and all that. But here’s the thing, I’m terrified of elephants. Like pee in my pants kind of terrified. Still I’m tempted to go for the rest of the adventure.
On the other hand if I stay home I will be able to do something about my hair which is threatening to put the 80’s to shame, maybe get a French manicure and a massage while I’m at it. At night I could hang out with my girls and a bottle of wine.
It’s been a while since she started avoiding mirrors. Almost as long as she has been recoiling from his loving hands. Their lovemaking now reduced to a few minutes of hurried and uncomfortable pleasure. A predictable routine of fumbling in the dark, a nightdress hiked up but not discarded and his frustration obvious in the force of his thrusts. If she slips out of bed fast enough she wouldn’t have to notice the pity in his eyes.
Tonight as usual she seeks refuge in the bathroom, where she can rest her burning cheek against the cold tiles and fight the revulsion she feels for herself. The same revolt she believes that he is too kind to show.
She steps in the shower and remembers that it was in here she felt it for the first time. The pea sized unfamiliarity had held her attention for but a moment before it slipped from her mind as easy as the soap sliding on her wet skin. The second time it was him who found it beneath his caresses. But his concern soon drowned in their passion. After the third time she meant to do something about it, really she did. But there was always this meeting she couldn’t cancel and that trip she didn’t have the heart to miss. Somehow life got in the way.
As the months went by it was no longer unfamiliar and there were many a moment when her hand absently wandered to feel the hardness protruding against her soft flesh.
But she knew it couldn’t possibly be that because she was just too young.
Now she wonders how different life could have been if she had not conveniently assumed that it happens only to your friend’s aunt, your colleague’s mom or that teacher back in school.
They say she will be alright, she’s lucky to still have a chance. But for now, all she feels is hollow.
Hollow like the left cup of her bra.
The month of October is the Breast Cancer Awareness month.
It can happen to women young and old. Don’t wait till you are 40 to get your self screened. Early detection can make a difference in your chances of survival. Self examination is encouraged from the age 20 and a mammogram every 2-3 years for women in their twenties or thirties.
