Of Mallum, Divorce and Black Books

The other day at work I had just finished my lunch, along with my favorite mallum and was lingering at the lunch table making small talk with a colleague, when one innocent remark led to another and soon we have this raging argument going that makes me want to spew out all that healthy mallum.

Now make no mistake… I’m quite fond of this particular colleague who I had always thought to be a sweet chap although inclined to be hyperactive at times. He is also by no means a traditional being. So imagine my surprise when uninvited, he slams me with his opinion of divorce and people who are divorced.  Note that I am neither divorced, getting divorced or even friends with anyone who is divorced. But I simply believe in the concept of divorce and think it’s absolutely necessary sometimes.

All I did was mention a mutual acquaintance who happens to be divorced when this guy calmly informs me that this person is in his “black book”. When I ask him why he replies without batting an eyelid “because he’s divorced”. After making him repeat that phrase many times over just to ensure I wasn’t hearing things, out poured my torrent of incredulous questions.

According to this guy divorce is evil, wrong, unacceptable and not an option under ANY (and I mean ANY) circumstances. Not if you realize how incompatible you are, not if one or both cheat, not even if one is being abused mercilessly. You got married so you stay together no matter how unhappy both of you are. If his wife cheats on him he will kick her out but swears will never grant a divorce. He wants her to be tied to him and unhappy forever (???!!!). He also adds that he has no respect for people who get divorced and they immediately go in to his “black book”. (At this moment someone points out that he had better buy a very big black book) Then finally he concludes with “if you consider divorce an option you leave room for the marriage to fall apart.”

In the spirit of live and let live – something he obviously never heard of – I put an end to the argument. While I dismiss all the rest as utter crap that last comment however gets me thinking. Could there be some truth in that last statement. Would the fact that you can get a divorce mean you don’t try as hard? Does that open door actually mean you bolt when the going gets tough?  

But then I have to ask, if you are married and getting divorced I presume both parties would be adults. So isn’t it really up to each individual to consider divorce in the right perspective and not merely as a convenient way out?

Well I’m no expert on marriage. But to me divorce represents means of rectifying a situation that cannot be bettered.   Some hope that you can start over. Granted it should be your last resort when all else has failed especially if there are kids involved. But it still should be an option methinks.



One thought on “Of Mallum, Divorce and Black Books

  1. “divorce represents means of rectifying a situation that cannot be bettered.”

    agreed. why suffer? Like most sri lankan couples do. “Think of the childred” “Think of what people will say”

    utter B.U.L.L

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