I have. And it hurts. It burns you alive. I have watched friends be in these damned things for years. As I witness one particularly painful triangle right now, I can’t help but wonder who it hurts the most?
The lover? This would be the person who fell in love with someone who is taken. It must be sheer torture to live with the fact that the person you love has a legitimate life with someone else. To be outside looking in, waiting, hoping, yearning and aching. Not being able to even hold hands in public. Wasting your time, tears, reputation and life but not even knowing if it will all be worth in the end.
The taken one? This would be the person who is in a relationship but has fallen in love with someone else. Often most part of the blame falls on this one. But surely it must be painful to be trapped in one relationship while being in love with another person. Everyone judges you and expects you to make a decision either way. But that kind of choice must be hard to make. So in the meantime you get kicked around by all parties concerned in addition to your personal guilt, pain and feelings of helplessness.
The legitimate partner? No matter what they say, ignorance really is bliss in their case. How it must hurt to know that your partner loves someone else even though there may exist residual love or pity love for you. The feelings of loss and betrayal must be overwhelming. Does one ever get over that kind of pain? If you are lucky anger will get you through halfway. But still it must be utterly devastating. Furthermore don’t you keep asking yourself what you did wrong and what you could have done different.
Still confused. But I think when you stop being judgmental it becomes clear that love affairs in this confounded geometric shape are bloody painful no matter which side you are on.