3am and I’m wide awake.

Intensely disturbed by a conversation I had on violence.

My friends and I, we talked about a guy who used to assault his girlfriend.

Although everyone agreed that violence against women wasn’t acceptable, they also tried to justify his violence by citing the fact that she provoked him and also hit him back.

For personal reasons, I could not argue beyond a point but I was shocked and disappointed.

Then someone mentioned that people like him can change.

I disagree. I think they just get smarter.

Clever at playing charades. Keeping up pretenses of utter devotion. Building an airtight reputation for themselves. Master the art of fooling family and friends.

They will pamper you half the time and then have you walking on eggshells for the rest. Making you believe that everything will be alrite… until fury strikes again.

They get strategic about when and what fights to pick even behind closed doors and will bruise you in places that will not show.

Often people have an exaggerated perception of violence. They expect black eyes and bloodied noses. But they fail to see the less obvious twisted arms, finger marks and the bumps on your head.

Whatever the degree, violence remains the same. The taste of terror and the shaking that comes afterwards…the feelings of nausea, resignation and hope that things may get better in time is also the same.

So no, people like him just do not change.




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