Deliberations

Pain

 

The brutal kind that slices away at your insides with a cold knife.

My eyes burned, hot and dry. But the tears didn’t come.

Smiles were forced and conversation fragmented.

Like a child, all I wanted was to close my eyes and pretend it wasn’t happening.

There were no stars that night. Almost as if they knew that my heart was breaking and refused to shine for you.

 

*****

Insensitivity

 

The kind that takes you by surprise.

Like a slap.

I don’t know what hurts more.

The act itself or the capacity for insensitivity that I didn’t know you possessed.

The pain has now seeped into every fiber of me and I am numb.

I haven’t laughed since.

Maybe insensitivity breeds indifference.

 

*****

 

Reckoning

 

What happens when you are forced to look at the cards laid on the table.

The sting has now subsided and my mind is clear.

I weigh you. Faults vs. Attraction.

Not in your favor, but I love you anyway.

Love vs. Want?

If you don’t want me, I don’t want you either.

It’s really quite simple.

 

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