Of Mosquitoes & Stilettos

by Delilah

 

So it all started with a mosquito repeatedly stinging me under the table during a long tedious meeting. With fears of dengue dancing around in my head I swung my legs to and fro to keep the little monster at bay.

Occasionally hooking my right foot around the left ankle I discreetly performed a scratch here and there with the conveniently sharp stiletto heel.  Little did I know that the right heel at some point had got snugly wedged inside the left shoe.

The meeting finally ended and I stood up in one swift moment, ready to head out the door. But before I could even comprehend what was happening, there I was flat on the floor and my patent leather peep-toe clad feet high up in the air.

Unfortunately I happened to be wearing a wraparound dress which immediately decided to gape open and reveal my bright orange & black polka dotted panties (Gutterflower, you would be so proud) to a boardroom full of colleagues, mostly male.  

A chorus of horrified ‘oh my gods’ rang out while I kicked off the offending shoes and tried scrambling to my feet as gracefully as I could, only to find that the chair I was previously seated on had rolled over my dress as I fell and the edge of my skirt was caught in one the wheels. Some more flashing of skin and orange fabric later I was upright and dignity restored – well almost.

As mortified as I am, I console myself with the thought that I have rather nice legs.

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